Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Who Says Corny Is Out of Style When Dating Online?

The other day my best friend said her boyfriend sent her this quote on a decorated email,

"Immature love says: I love you because I need you. Mature love says, I need you because I love you."
Erich Fromm

I loved it, and Sherry liked it too, but she was surprised that her very hip boyfriend of four weeks had a corny side. Then she started worrying that he might be to conservative for her.

Here's my take on that issue. In today's world men tend to hang out with their boys and their boys definitely don't brag about being corny with their dates, and they certainly don't share very much about their real feelings about their girlfriends. It is clear they will brag about certain segments of their relationship, but those areas of conversation about dating rarely mention anything about emailing love quotes or sending flowers "just because."

However, one thing is certain and that is guys, just like girls, need and desire companionship and hanging out with the guys doesn't cover the relationship part of the whole companionship thing. On the other side of relationships, my gay guy friends, also need companionship and do hangout with their best girlfriends and enjoy their time together, but those relationships also don't cover all the companionship things that make a person's life more complete. You must be open to sharing all the sides of your personality, desires and quirky things like love quotes and your unbridled love for MMA (lots of my girlfriends have issues revealing this side to their boyfriends).

All in all, corny is good and while keeping your dating life in a secret place in regard to what you share with the guys, so to speak, doesn't mean that corny is is a relationship threat. On the contrary, being affectionate and finding unique/corny things like poems that resonate with your sensitive side, provide the connecting piece for the circle of love that surrounds solid and lasting relationships.

It's all about love and love doesn't work with rules that require a person to always be locked into logic and reason. Love is about emotions, and those need to be shared in your relationship.

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All the best to you,
Sable Combs
Relationship Coach

Sunday, October 12, 2014

Making a Good First Impression at Online Dating Sites

My first attempts at dating online were disastrous and that is an understatement by a mile, however things did get better.... eventually. Actually my journey into courses in relationship studies, evolved into my studies and certification as a relationship counselor. 

Even though I have been practicing for more than 9 years, I still read nearly every article about relationships and online dating that I can find. 

Recently I came across a tip filled articled on the Consumer Search webpage titled, "How to Choose an Online Dating Site" and thought it would be important to share their suggestions and recommendations. After all, following common sense approaches is always a good idea. And from my experiences of years ago, common sense when dating online is a solid and proved good idea.

Take a look at Consumer Search's tips for what is important when beginning a search of online dating sites:
  • A profile that reflects who you are. Some sites have a limited number of questions with standard answers that don't let you express fully who you really are.
  • Features to help whittle down the list of possible matches.Keyword searches offer flexibility, but a search form with multiple different search criteria can also help.
  • Security affiliations that protect your personal information.Although this isn't a standard in the industry, it's a plus if the dating service uses a privacy program like TRUST to protect your personal information; look for the trademark on the website.
  • Mobile applications. If you are rarely home or are often unable to access a computer, look for a dating site that has applications with features that are phone friendly, even if they cost extra.
  • Promotional offers. Many dating sites offer promotions, but they may require paying for a long-term subscription.

Click on Consumer Search to read the full article

Click here to see what others are doing to hook up with great dates...

All the best to you,